Mao

I can hardly get some sleep these few nights, I don't know why. It's like I went to bed around 1.30am and I only able to get some sleep around 5am. But even so, I woke up around 5 hours later.
And I still have a test to study and an assignment to finish up, which it suppose to be handed up on tomorrow, the good thing is I can stall it to Wednesday, but that's not exactly the point.

My house became less spaceful after the minor renovation. Strange isn't it? Normally people renovate house to have more space, but mine is the total opposite. Okay la, seriously thats not the real reason behind the renovation. Hope things will get better with a nurse around 24/7 now.

I have to stop thinking too much in order to get some sleep. And seriously the other part of the reason that I couldn't able to get some sleep is cause of you, I ain't joking when I told you that. =)

Mao

I saw a huge butterfly on the sky, don't you think so too?

How I wish that the butterfly would turn out to be real, then things will tend to be much easier.

I've been day dreaming too much.

Hoping for a better tomorrow

Its been a while since I really update this blog of mine. Yeah, I know I been neglecting my blog, which I know I shouldn't be doing so. But as I said before, there's been too many things that are happening lately, and to be honest, I couldn't really able to comprehend them all.

There were times where I felt so helpless, and so alone, as in really alone. There were times where I felt like crying but I couldn't, because I'm too tired and too weak from the inside to cry it out. There were times where I felt that I should find someone to talk with, and let it all out, but sadly, everyone seems to going through their hard times these days, and I couldn't possibly share mine with them. And so, I can only choose to keeping almost everything to myself. I cant do anything but to only admit that I couldn't possibly feel this weak and helpless as I never feel anything like this before for the past 22 years of my life.

But somehow on the other hand, I should be grateful that all these things happened. I don't mean to being mean, but because of all these, I'm really starting to believe that everything happens for a reason. From accidents to admitted into hospital, and even to the extent of death from friends and their relatives, all these happened within a week and all these incidents taught me a very valuable thing, life is short and it is nothing but only respect and appreciation.

I tasted the fear of losing someone, I tasted the feeling of guilty for the lack of appreciation and respect for someone, I tasted the feeling of losing a friend. Seriously, the past week has been a really tough week for me. Basically I cant do anything but to only keep on waiting and worry. And I also came to realized that anything you do means something to someone, be it small or big, meaningless or meaningful. You don't do things just for the sake of doing, you do things just because you think you should and its a right thing to do. You should appreciate what others have done for you, because you have no idea how much they sacrificed their time just to make things up for you.

Thanks a bunch to those that being there by my side, and also to those that kept on asking me about I've been doing during the past week, thanks for all the concerns, you guys know who you are and you guys made me feel that I'm not so alone after all.

Last but not least, start loving your loved ones, because you'll never know what's gonna happen and when they'll gone. Appreciate what they've done for you and respect them the way you should. Don't take anything for granted, as there is nothing meant to be take for granted in this world.

- One act of random kindness can change the world. -

Mao

Sorry for not updating lately, lots happened and been busy. I'll update everyone soon, if there's still people reading my blog.

-Mao-

Happy Birthday Lai =)

Ehh, nearly forgot, Happy belated birthday Lai ! I know that most likely you wont be reading this, but still, hope you like the small little present. =)

And thanks for the brunch ! =D

Mao

As usual, went to AC to brunch with them today, and I discovered something ! Something that I least expected, something that I thought it's not what I thought I saw at first, something that I thought it is not real. But in fact, it is tangible and it is real !

Okay, so now let me reveal to you guys on what I saw.

Taa Daa ! I saw this !


Lolz !! Yeap, there's no doubt about it, and you did not see wrongly ! It is what you think it is ! Okay, let me tell you guys what it is. It is an Ultraman Tissue Pack. Yes, Ultraman, I did not spell wrongly and you did not read wrongly.

Guess in whose back I found this? It is in Sandbag Tan's bag ! It was so friggin funny when I show it to Justin, lolol, and I snapped a photo of it as an evidence of the existence of such thing that Sandbag has in his bag !

This is so unbelievable, Lolz !

Mao

Didn't know I can rush through my whole assignment in 1 hour time. But it is pretty bad honestly, because it is just 2 long questions, and I need like 1 hour to do it *with some direct cnp from lecturer's soft copy notes somemore, haha*. I shouldn't slack anymore, at least I know I couldn't afford to, lol.

What's next? Test 1 and project paper, T_T

Mao

Ahhh, finally i got the chance to eat my favorite cheese cake. Chocolate Indulgence still simply the best, follow up by cheesy choc <3

Love'em all =D

Mao

I'm having some complicated feelings right now.

Assignments and stress seems to be never ending and keep coming to me. The same old assignment that I been working on has not even completed by now, and I have no idea what I've done and what I'm doing.

I'm tired of the same routine of things that I been doing everyday. I want something extraordinary, something special, something exciting. But I don't think it will happen anytime soon. Sometimes words can never able to describe and express the way how you feel, perhaps that's one of the weakness of language.

Perhaps I should be grateful for all the things I have now in life, besides, life is all about appreciation after all. But then again, if you don't ask for more than what you have now, how are we going to improve ourselves?

I miss my 1 month of holidays back in Australia when I was 12, I miss my few months of nothingness after I left TARC. I miss my TARC buddies. I miss my bro and his family, I miss his son which is most likely to be 3 years old by now. I miss my sis whom now studying at UK. I miss my buddiez. I miss teng. I miss the times when I can feel what its like to be no one else but only me forgetting every single little things in life and fly freely on the ice ring.

I hate myself.

Mao

Today is seriously bad.

Woke up in the morning just to force myself to continue on my assignment, end up playing Hellgate until 12 noon and went out to collect cheque book for my mom and done some banking for her as well. Reached home around 2pm, had my lunch and settled down around 2.30pm, continue to do my assignment for just 1 more hour, then couldnt take it anymore and went for a short nap. Had a few weird dreams and one nightmare -_-

Woke up at 5.15pm and prepare myself to go for class with an incomplete assignment. Guess what? My class suppose to start at 6pm, and usually I still can make it on time even though I start to leave my house around 5.40pm. And today I really left at 5.40pm, but due to the excellent abnormal unforeseen traffic jam that caused by two cars that broke down in the middle of the high way with two separate different location, plus the excellent rain that's been raining for almost every single day since the past few weeks, guess what time I reach my institute?

I arrived at my institute around 6.50pm, and so, I decided to skip the class and drove myself back home. And it took me 1 hour to reach home as well. Seriously I cant slack anymore, someone please help me =(

What a day.

Doomed

I am so doomed.

I been started working on my assignment since 2 nights ago, and yet it is still not complete by now.
I been keep on procrastinating every day with some other stupid things. Sigh, can someone please help me by telling me the way on how to stop procrastinating?

And since it is almost 12.30 midnight now, I feel like going to bed due to slight headache that I'm currently suffering from. I think I have to finish it tomorrow and hand it up before 5.30. Oh ya, thanks ck for making me laugh, you should know what I'm talking about, lol.

Oh can someone please help me?

And also my upcoming project paper, Gawd !!!

Mao

The Bottom Line

Is there too much happening now -- or not enough? You're a bit confused, today.

In Detail

Is there too much happening around you right now? Or not enough? You'll be vacillating between bored-out-of-your-skull and utterly-over-stimulated today, which could drive the people you're hanging out with a bit nuts. But despite their frustration with your unpredictability, they'll love it at the same time. So just embrace your pendulum-like mood swings and don't feel like you have to hide your emotions. You should go from tears to laughter without hesitation.


Really? All my friends should beware of me then.

Mao

How on earth someone can be so inconsiderably inconsiderate, he knew I was resting already and yet he still wants to talk on the phone, chatting with his friends so loudly. C'mon, a person with common sense would have walk out of the room and chat outside since he knows someone is resting after a heavy headache. Damn you idiotic inconsiderate noob !

Sometimes a new start or some interaction with a new thing isn't as bad as you would think it will be, as long as you feel much relax and happier than you used to be, and at least somehow you know that you're yourself again. Perhaps, maybe it is what you really wanted deep inside yourself after all, or perhaps, maybe it is time to move on. Just maybe, only time will tell.

Stepping a simple step ahead will sometimes move yourself out of confusion, and the fog will naturally go away. Eventually you'll see things much more clearer than before.

Mao

"Bless to those hearts that can mend, they shall never be broken."

But i wonder, if there's no breaking, there's no healing. And if there's no healing, then there's no learning. And if there's no learning, then there's no struggle, but struggle is a part of life.

So must all hearts be broken?

Mao

As said in few previous entries, thought of making my blog public again, and now finally decided and done. Hope there will be no more trolls, else I'll private it again.

Mao

Was doing the usual mass blog reading, then came across this small lil cute quiz at zhiwei's blog, gave it a try and this is what I got. Lolz, I don't know whether it is true about me or not, why not you guys tell me. =)

	Tenderheart Bear You are thinker, organizer, peacekeeper, and leader all in one. You have a power to command attention and people listen to you. However, you are often so concerned about not hurting others' feelings that you don't tell them what they need to hear and this gets you both into trouble. But you always have loyal friends to help you out.
Take the Which Care Bear Are You? Quiz!

I have to admit, I started to having fear for my project paper, cause.. cause.. it is huge. Bahh, we'll see how it goes later on.

Mao

Today is the day where the teens have been waiting for, a day where they finally receive the result for all the hard work that they paid, so I here by wish all of you guys, good luck and all the best in your result alright =)

I kind of addicted to the song "No Air" sang by Jordin Sparks feat Chris Brown, i dont know why but it just feel so nice hearing it. And still, I haven't complete my assignment yet, which I need to hand it up before 5 in the evening today. I just left a single part of a question that it is now undone, and it only takes me 15 minutes max to finish it, but I still feeling kind of lazy to move, oh please help me.

Sleeping 10 hours straight is nice, sleeping til self awake is even nicer, its been few days since I have some good sleep. Been going out straight these few days, spending money is kind of like drinking water. But with all the places and all the activities that's been going on, I still failed to have a trip to the ice ring, is it really destined that I have to spare out some time of my own someday and go skate alone?

Other than assignments and preparation for the project paper, Im still me.

Feelings

I feel like I've lost myself for these few days, as in lost in the things that I've been doing. I feel like I've lost the connection with the inner me these few days. I feel like I been doing things that I wont normally do these few days, strange isnt it ? *Im not talking about election, please*

I have this sudden feeling that I miss "Titanic" the movie so much! Feel like watching it again, it is just too lovely to resist. And I wanna go for a trip to the ice ring, but it is saddening that nobody is willing to even spend a little time with me, enjoying the feeling of flying on the ice, instead of running away from the feeling that scared on falling down. C'mon guys, although I am not pro in it, but at least I know the way of teaching and you wont even have to fall to learn the art of skating. *This theory only applies on me, as in if and only if Im the one who is teaching, :D*

Been having some talks with the group of teens lately, and I felt like I've considered as quite lucky already if compare with them, but then again, age matters, they may be going through rough times now, but they might even do better than me when they reach my age. I am not saying that Im old, nor even I intend to, but it just feel that way. Sometimes being with them reminds me of my old self, maybe it is where the thoughts of dont want them to make the same mistakes as I did and the urge of helping them in any possible ways comes into the picture.

Again, assignments, revision, project papers, tests are all lining up and waiting for me. They say you must have interest in what you're doing then only you will be able to bring out the best in you into it, and I dont know how much longer I can hold on to it.

Should I make my blog public again since the "troll" has been so quiet for so long already?

Mao

Is it normal for a guy to experience mood swing ? Or is it actually very abnormal ?

Only god knows.

Its suck when you finally realize and understand nothing after you done thinking about almost everything. And its suck when you feel that there are things where it is so close but yet it is actually so far.

How far would you really go just to make someone happy?

I have a complicated background, I have a complicated history, I have a complicated family, I have a complicated mindset, I always think stuffs through a complicated way and I definitely living a complicated life.

Random pics

These are things that I been doing for the past month.





Last but not least,