Thank you

Went to Jedrik's party during Saturday night, had some fun and liquor. Thanks Jedrik, for the party, for making it as a chance, for everything. I just feel that, I am quite useless, or I should just say very useless. Why didn't I be the one who took the initiative to make things right again instead of the other party although I myself know that I am in fault for causing all of it? Yeah, I know many of you guys will agree on this, that's what I felt for myself too.

Somehow I just don't feel right being who I am now. It is like I don't know anything about myself anymore. Yes, I agree that everything is different now, things changed, peoples changed. I changed badly too, by walking out on people's life although I myself is at fault, and of course by smoking as well. For those who don't know that I smoke, yes I have been smoking for almost 2 months now. It all started since the first day of me making and done some bad decisions through an irrational mind that caused up the whole thing, and it has stopped as things are over and settled on Sat night.

I could not turn back time to make things right again and being as close as before, but I will try my best to change back to who I really used to be, before all these things happened. I miss those lame jokes that we made, I miss those msn conversation parts that we once had, I miss those laughs, I miss those times where you will ask me opinions or ideas for things, basically I miss those good old days. I know you are tired hearing me saying all the sorries and stuffs, and 'sorry' doesn't really mean sorry anymore when I kept on repeating it everytime after I done something wrong. But still, I just want to say for the one last time, I am really sorry, and I really mean it.

Once again, I am really grateful, and thank you for everything.