Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like You Loved me
Break my heart for what breaks Yours
Everything I am for Your kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity

It is now 4.05am and it has been a very, very long while since I am still awake at this time of the day. Yeah, I know I said that I will update the blog with my diving trip entry, but it is not going to happen that way. I am sorry but I just do not have the feel to do so anymore. Anyway, I have uploaded an album of photos about my diving trip, anyone who is interested can proceed to my Facebook to check it out.

Just when you thought everything is going well, something always happen and turns the situation around. I know in order to improve, changes have to be made. Perhaps, it is time to get out of the comfort zone and really work hard.

I still and I will believe in You as I have faith that You have made a new way for me and You made it for my greater good. I love You.

I am currently suffering from blogger's block! Gonna 'get well' soon and update you guys on my diving trip!

It's been a while since my last entry. Well, I have been lazy to update this blog and I been busy with other things as well. Life has never been better, at least I feel that I am more connected to myself.

The feeling of going back to church again after so long is so good, and I love the way it is now. Anyway, I'm going away for a diving lesson soon and I am very looking forward to this. I need a getaway from my working life, lol.

Well, I pray that everything will turns out smoothly. And, I have been addicted to this particular song lately, Hillsong - This is our God. You guys should check that song out. :)

Sometimes I wonder, am I being too sensitive lately, or I am just plain being left out? I think I am living a very unhealthy lifestyle. I need to change the way, perhaps I need someone to change me.

Sometimes, I just want to stay away from everything, and everyone. Just sometimes.

Stop pissing me off when you know what you are doing is actually pissing me off. If you are those fellas who are enjoying themselves making fun of their friends and seeing their friends pissed off to gain excitement and to be happy, then I don't want to have such a pathetic friend.

If you are single it's not that your mojo isn't working - in fact you are as hot as ever. The problem for you right now is your career and social ambitions are getting in the way of romance. You may have to slow things down a bit if you want to give love a chance.

The statement listed above, is it really true? Well, I guess it is. I might really need to give love a chance, or I scared that I will never ever be able find it again.

And, just when you thought that you do not need the money, turns out that you actually need all the money the most ! FML seriously.

FTW also !

Hmm. I don't know what is happening but I can sense that something is changing. But the question is, it is changing for the good? Or, the bad?

A taste of Karma isn't what I wanted, but it happened. Oh well, I have no one to blame but myself. I'm working hard in controlling my emotions, but I am still being labeled as walking definition of 'emo'. =(

I think I have found a sign. As I have just said, I think I have, thus I am not sure yet. Let time assist me in identifying it. Lets pray that I am not wrong in this, at least not this time, since I have been wrong in many things for the past 24 years of my life. =(

Been super relaxing for the past few days. Sleep, eat, woke up, movie, sleep, eat, music, sleep, and the same routine for the next day. Somehow I am glad that I have been blessed with a body which will not turn fat no matter how much I eat. My friends have been telling me that I have 4 stomachs whenever I eat, but I myself don't feel that way, lol.

Better sleep and eat more while I still could, hehe. Speaking of sleep, I think I'd better go get some rest now. Before I sign off,

Happy birthday CK !

Please give me a sign my lord, I need a sign so that I would know what I should do next. Or, you have actually gave me a sign, and I couldn't realize it?

If that is the case, gimme more signs then. I been feeling dizzy the whole day, I should go get some rest.

Please do let me know if anyone knows where 'Saw Palmetto' can be purchased.

Thank you.

My car's front speakers are getting worse, and I don't have the 'feel' to fix them yet. There are so many more important things that I have not done besides fixing the speakers, such as washing the car, vacuum and clean up the car, fixing the wheel? And, to tint the car's windows as well. All also requires money, oh my.

A lot of peoples are getting married this year, congratulations everyone, you know who you are :) Love, is such a simple thing, and yet, it could be very complicated sometimes. Its been 5 years and counting, freaking 5 years. I have to admit that I tried isolating myself from love before, and resulting in a way that I have started to feel numb, but at the same time, looking forward for one. I always say that my main priority now is career, but its not entirely true. Who in this world does not want to love and being loved?

I am currently addicted to this song: Stained - Everything Changes. Gosh, its a nice song, at least it is to me. I am pretty sure some would say that it is a emo song, but who cares, cause emo is one part of human's feelings as well.

Without emo, you might not have the chance to know what it feels to be happy. Alright, somehow I feel it sounds pretty lame again.

Stained - Everything Changes

If you just walked away
What could I really say?
Would it matter anyway?
Would it change how you feel?

I am the mess you chose
The closet you can not close
The devil in you, I suppose
'Cause the wounds never heal

But everything changes if I could
Turn back the years if you could
Learn to forgive me
Then I could learn to feel

Sometimes the things I say
In moments of disarray
Succumbing to the games we play
To make sure that it's real

But everything changes if I could
Turn back the years if you could
Learn to forgive me
Then I could learn to feel

When it's just me and you
Who knows what we could do?
If we can just make it through
The toughest part of the day

But everything changes if I could
Turn back the years if you could
Learn to forgive me
Then I could learn how to feel

Then we could stay here together
And we could conquer the world
If we could say that forever
Is more than just a word

If you just walked away
What could I really say?
And would it matter anyway?
It wouldn't change how you feel

Hmm, I know nuts, but I do know that I have a dead blog. Argh, its been almost a month since my last entry. Sometimes the reason why I do not want to blog is because I do not want to turn my blog into an emo blog!

Thus, I am actually saving my blog by not posting any entries, sounds pretty lame right? Yeah, I feel the same too. I'm currently looking out for some things, a lot of things to be exact, but I have no idea where and when I will be able to find them. Some people take years and some people take days to search for what they are looking for, but for me ... ...... I am dead tired because of this, and I am trying my best to hang on.

Seriously, my blog needs some photos to lighten up this dark place. I am now looking forward to some holidays trip, such as Bangkok, Hong Kong or even Melaka -_- Its been a freaking long period of time since we all Buddiez going out to chill together, and I think the recent would be, the Genting I guess. Like I've said, its been too freaking long while already!

I have not felt a feeling for a very, very long time, and I miss the feeling. =(

It has been more than a month since my last entry posted. I do not know what is the meaning of blogging anymore. There's so much I wanted to say but I do not know where should I start. I have lots of things in mind til I feel that it is starting to overflow.

The word "worry" has been a very good friend of mine for the past one month, and it still is now. I should go to bed since I still have to work on the public holiday tomorrow, but heck I am still here, trying to blog an entry that I do not know what to type.

Life has not been easy to me lately, in fact it never has. I don't usually talk if there is no need for me to talk, except when I am pretty lame and being with some close friends. In other words, I guess I am not those 'open' type of people. I guess I am just me. Yeah, this is me.

Can you open a door with the right key? Is anyone out there?

It has come to that time of the year again, where you will always worry, over worry in fact. I don't really fancy and I am not looking forward to new year every year since 2 years ago, and I dislike 14th of Feb and 16th of May, I just don't like these 2 days. Why I have became like this when all these things always happen? I know I should walk out from the past and not living under the shadow of it. But, it is always easier to say than done.

How am I suppose to not worry? You tell me. Its like the history is repeating itself again, although I really hope it is not. And it hurts to see someone dear to you to keep on screaming for pain everyday. I know I should stop scaring myself, just give me some time.

Well, nothing bad happened during this new year, perhaps its because its the year of Ox, and this year is my year =P That pretty explains why the Lady of Luck is always with me these few days, and hopefully many more days/weeks/months/years to come as well.

Thanks a bunch for the bbq dinner as well everyone. Although we had it at the field this time, at least it is something new and something refreshing as well, most importantly, the host is happy and everyone had fun.

Somehow I feel that the fun is too short to end. How I wish I could have a few more days to relax my mind, and not being zombie during office hours daily. Working has its own fun as well, and I've learnt to being more 'Black and White' as well, yeah taste your own medicine you bitches and bastards.

Time flies and I have to get back to work again. Oh well, breakfast and lunch will never be the same again, and the lack of your presence will result in being little more bored at the office. Nonetheless, we all will miss you Gene, and thanks for that 7 months of joy and laughter you have brought us.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw how you handled your responsibilities, even when you didn't feel good, and I learned that I would have to be responsible when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw tears come from your eyes, and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it's all right to cry.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw that you cared, and I wanted to be everything that I could be.

Just when you...

When you thought I wasn't looking I looked at you and wanted to say,'Thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn't looking.'

Was browsing through a friend's facebook photos album, and I found this interesting picture. The rabbit would be like :"What the fuck? Oh shit!"


Lolol.

Never thought the first entry of 2009 would fall on the 13th. Changed my blog layout, again. New year new layout, luckily not new girlfriend and new parents. This year is rather dull, because I could not seem to be able to feel any CNY atmosphere anywhere around me. Perhaps its because I am stuck in the office and seldom go to any malls.

Speaking of outings, I am extremely looking forward to this coming Friday dinner at The Gardens. I can't think of anything about that day except for great food, great mall, great time, and on top of all, marvelous colleagues. Lots of CNY programs, but just too little time to enjoy. Nonetheless, I am looking forward to the bbq pool party on the 31st of Jan as well.

Somehow I am not looking forward to February, but lets face it, for the sake of Plan B. I should drive more slower on the road, after all, 'every trip to office is like an adventure' ehh? Lol.

We gonna miss you Gene, seriously.

P.S : One Tree Hill is back !!